Suzy

It is about time I update you readers about the developments with Suzy, my neighbour.

Short but sweet: we are a couple now.

It is a bit amazing. She and me have lived in the same almshouse complex for 3.5 years, with a view on each other's appartement actually, only now to "discover" each other (see the previous post). And since that e-mail by her some three weeks ago, things have gone very fast.

We made a very fine 15 km walk over the beach and through the dunes that Wednesday, went for a dinner in town; and now we are basically at either her or my place each spare moment.

I have discovered that she does have some "issues" and can be a bit moody (sometimes on short time scales), but nothing so far that I feel I can't handle. Taken all together, it feels very good, and although things move fast, it all feels very natural and relaxed.

Within a week, we'll have to miss each other for two weeks. I am visiting friends in Vancouver between the 14th and the 28th. It is the first time since 2002 that I'll be significantly travelling again, and I am looking forward to it. I am staying with friends who emigrated to Vancouver, and also plan a hobby contact on Vancouver Island.

New developments

It is high time for an update again. First, about Anna. It turned out both she and me had the same feeling about there being no 'spark'. So we said goodbye and went our own ways.

Following that, I haven't been that active on the dating site for various reasons. But about a week ago a 31-year-old blonde woman did contact me and we have had some e-mail communications.

The main new development however occurred outside the dating-site context, and came a bit out of the blue.

The place where I live has a central secluded courtyard with a small communal garden. Weather has been rather good this summer (and still is mostly) and I spent a lot of time on the courtyard, mostly in the late afternoon and evening. This year, a few of the longer-time inhabitants of the complex (including me) have started to socialize a bit more in that context than in previous years. With two neighbours and a former neighbour, we actually have organized a few dinners together.

One of the neighbours part of the dinners and wine-chats on the courtyard in question (let us call her Suzy), previously was a bit keeping her distance, being a bit reserved and unaccessible. Lately, she however seemed to "defrost" towards me. Several of the courtyard evenings with some wine ended rather late, and the talks became more personal. Next, she started to sent me small e-mails with chit-chat almost each morning.

She is a psychologist, and as psychology is an interest of me, we had some converstaions about that. She also started to "analyze" the way my former neighbour Sas (with whom I still have good contacts, and who regularly joins our dinners) and me handle each other (Sas and me are continuously making a bit sarcastic jokes about each other). At a certain point, I had some suspicion that with that she at the same time was trying to get me comment on what kind of relationship Sas and me have (which is friendship, no more, at leats from my part). Together with the other two neighbours involved (all single women) we also touched upon the dating issue etc.

When, early last week, I mentioned the new contact on the dating site in an e-mail and half-seriously asked her "so what do you think about a woman who has tortoises as pets?" I was a bit surprised to get a rather emotional e-mail back from her. Basically, she told me she thought she had feelings for me and found that all very confusing.

We have decided to go for a drink somewhere in the coming days, and have a bit of a talk.

Another Date

My profile seems to generate interest: I get quite a lot of replies, for a male.

Shortly after the date with the psychologist I started to communicate with a woman we shall call Anna. She is 38, a brunette, and a civil servant in a small town. She lives in the capitol.

Communications with her were nice, but I wasn't entirely sure. Sometimes I had some idea she was more trying to please me in her writing than being herself. In such a case, only a date reveals if it has potential or not.

This afternoon, I therefore had a date with her, in MyTown (on her request). It started off a bit at a tangent, when she called me from the train station more than 30 minutes before the time of our appointment, telling she already was there. So I had to hurry at the last minute (which I don't like).

After meeting her at the trainstation, we walked into town. At that moment it was still sunny and warm. We settled on an outside terrace along The River in the center of town (halfway our date it became somewhat more clouded and windy, and we moved inside the café).

The talk was mostly small talk: the usual stuff about work, education, how we came to chose our jobs, etcetera. A bit about family, but not very deep.

In general she was nice, but seemed a bit nervous. She constantly apologized for things, things that didn't need an apology (such as for keeping her sunglasses on out in the sun; or for wanting to order some small pub snacks). At a certain moment, this started to become a bit of a nuisance to me. I did my best to put her at ease, yet she kept apologizing.

One peculiar and somewhat unnerving thing was that we turned out to have a mutual acquaintance from days long past. When (in the e-mails before the date) she learned of my hobby, she wrote that she once had helped a friend out who organized camps for youth in that area of interest. I asked her: "Was that the [name of youth association on my hobby]?". It turned out to be indeed. I told her I had been very active in that very same association when I was young. Given that she orginates from the south of the country by birth, I next inquired: "was that friend of yours perhaps named Lucia?". This because in the old days, I knew a girl by that name from the south who indeed was very active with organizing camps etcetera.

And yes: she answered that friend of hers was indeed called Lucia, and the Christian name and place name where she was living at that time matched. Lucia, my acquaintance from days long past, turned out to be the highschool "best friend" of my date Anna!

As I wrote above, Anna was a nice women and apart from the minor quirck of apologizing too much, we spent a relaxed four hours together, first having some drinks in town and then doing a sightseeing walk through town. Yet I am quite certain this is not "her": I felt no spark whatsoever. So I'll keep it at this one date only with her.

Nice date, but no second follow-up date, alas...

As I wrote in my previous short post, the date last Friday with the psychologist went fine. She was sitting outside when I arrived: a pretty, slim blonde, dressed smartly. As usual, I had a red rose with me (some traditions need to be honoured). We ordered drinks and started to chat. After the initial slightly awkward first minutes, the talk went smoothly. There wasn't any moment of awkward silence.

She was very charming: pretty, smart, entertaining. We talked about many things: jobs of course (usually the first thing to talk about, as a conversation starter), why we decided to try a dating site, some experiences with it so far, travels, and then on to tidbits of personal information.

In all, the date lasted some four hours. That is the kind of length for a date which suggests that you are not mutually boring to each other. So I had some hopes for a second date with her. I was certainly in for that: I really liked her and she seemed a very interesting, nice person.

Alas no. In answer to a mail I sent the next day, she answered:

"Hi Lama,

I have let it sink in a bit. I too enjoyed it, and want to thank you for your nice words. I do note however that I hesitate. I certainly think you are a nice, entertaining and galant man. I do however miss the kind of 'click' I would want to feel. (and maybe I am just not yet ready for this all, which is something I'll note in due time then I guess). Therefore, I want to leave it at this."

A pitty. I really enjoyed this date and liked her.

short report

In short: date went very fine. Lovely woman: intelligent, funny, interesting, and beautiful. Spent almost 4 hours talking. I think a second date is not unlikely.

More later, I am tired.

D-Day Preparations

I did some work at home this morning, and am now preparing for the date with the psychologist later tonight. The date will be in a nice establishment nearby in the old heart of MyTown. Time of appointment is 19:00.

Weather is a bit iffy. Sunny periods intermingle with rainshowers. So I guess we will go inside the place, instead of sitting on their outside terrace along The River (which is a very fine scenic spot when the weather is good).

Per the usual preparations I just ironed my shirt and pants, and got a red rose. Now hope all will go well this evening.

I also read her full profile again, memorizing things, and have gone over our e-mail conversations so far. The e-mail contacts between us over the past two weeks were pleasant. Very relaxed and plain.

As usual there is that slight nervousness, of a good kind. I note I am actually looking forward to it, which is good. Apparently, the time is right, for me.

What I do worry a bit about, is that she is a psychologist by profession. This because at one time I have been in the hands of therapists myself...I wonder whether (initially) to keep silent about that or not. I also hope she will not be constantly analysing me.

Well, we shall see. So far, I only have had good experiences with my dates, even those that got no follow-up: unlike other people I never had a bad date so far, and with a score of 3 relationships of some duration (Bunny, Alice and ATG) out of 5 dates in total over the past 4 years, I guess I ain't doing bad.

Now for that one girl that will stay....I hope this is her.

Date postponed a week

Okay,

This morning I got a message by the psychologist, saying that she can't make it on Sunday and offering three alternative days. So we postponed to Friday the 24th.

I hope this isn't the first sign of someone chickening out.....

I have gotten a number of other reactions on the dating site now. As long as this with the psychologist is still running, I will not go into other contacts yet though.

These other reactions so far include a 35-year-old organisation advisor; a 41-year-old psychiatric nurse; a 34-year-old nurse of mentally handicapped people (she should get along with me ;-p ); a 39-year-old with unlisted profession; plus indications of interest from a 36-year-old secretary, a 37-year-old bureau clerk, 41-year-old regional manager and a 36-year-old pharmacy assistant.

This while not yet contacting any people myself.

A new date coming up

So, 4.5 months after the break-up with ATG (isn't that too soon?) and one year after my last date (the one starting things with ATG), I decided to try internet dating again.

I signed up for another site then the one where I met ATG, Alice and Bunny. This time a site that uses a psychological (-ish) questionaire test to suggest potential matches. You don't get to see pictures on this site initially (only blurred ones), so the initial contact effort has to be solely inspired by the written profile and the matching test results.

The site is popular with people with higher education, and as it is connected to a popular glossy about psychology, it is perhaps no surpise that my first contact turned out to be a psychologist.

Now, I once said:

"I would never aim to get into a relationship with a psychologist or a lawyer.
The first one will analyse every little thing you do, say, or don't do or say; and the second one will pluck you clean once the divorce comes..."

To some extent I am still affraid for that, but I decided to give it a try. Several e-mails later, she seems nice and thoughtful, we exchanged pictures, and...we settled on a date. Which will be next Sunday afternoon.

She is blonde, 39, and let us call her the psychologist from now on...

It's Over

This happened some 3 weeks ago, but only now I can get myself to shortly write about it. American Teacher Girl broke up with me.

We did not have fights or something like that, on the contrary. But she told me she feels that I am too accomodating to her, and this leaves her with the feeling that she was running our relationship.

It is true that she was the stronger personality in the relationship. And I have lately become quite "go with the flow" in many aspects. Regarding our relationship, I have always left her quite free in her decisions, as long as it didn't overstep my personal boundaries for things (which she never did). As a result, anything she proposed was quite okay with me so far. Apparently, I should have said "no" a bit more regularly.

Oh well....

Very late V-day report, plus photo

Okay, I am horribly procrastinating concerning this blog lately. Too many other things at hand (at work a.o.), and too little news now the dating days are over. Yes, American Teacher Girl and me are still together. Half February we celebrated our 6-month-together anniversary plus Valentines day.

As Valentine's day is not such a part of our culture as it is in the Anglo-Saxon countries, ATG provided me a subtle "hint" a week earlier. Not wanting to disappoint her, I booked two tickets for a Valentine's special at a well-known stand-up comedy/improvisation theater club in the capitol, run by Americans (which means the show is in English). It also included a dinner.

It was a very good Valentine activity, the show was very funny, the dinner not bad, and ATG and me highly enjoyed it. We were sitting next two an Irish couple who had come over especially for the show, and explained some of the jokes that specifically targetted peculiarities of our country to them.

After the show we went for a drink. The next day, we were both quite fuzzy in the head....

I was contacted a number of times recently by parties interested in buying a license to use one of my photographs for a commercial purpose. One was a real estate developer, the other a TV station that wanted to use my landscape panorama's for their website. I have never intended to commercially gain by my photography, but this was a nice little "extra" as they were willing to pay €100,- (about $128,-) per photo. The money gained was invested in a nice new lens: a Canon EF 100/2.5 Macro USM.

Yesterday I used it to shoot the photo below, showing a detail of the crocusses popping up in our garden.

(click image to enlarge)

Long overdue Update

My apologies for the long absence on this blog. The past months were rather dynamic. Here's a short update on the situation.

Things with American Teacher Girl are going very well !!!!

Last week we completed our fourth month, and all signs are there that it is going very well.

Late October I introduced her to my "Friday evening Friends". She was a bit nervous for that, but she turned out to fit in very well. On the 27th of November, I experienced my first Thanksgiving celebration, with her and about 25 other US and Canadian expats (plus the odd European partner). Quite an experience. Seldom experienced such an overload of food. Including a 14 kg turkey the size of an ostrich.... This was also an introduction to her larger social circle.

We spend quite some time together now: usually the full weekend, plus often 1 or 2 days mid-week.

Currently, I have to miss here for 2.5 weeks (she will be back on the 30th) as she is to the US to visit her family for Christmas. She goes twice a year, around Christmas and in the summer. Next summer, as all keeps going well, I'll probably go with her.

A visit to the Zoo, and a first critical test

Last week ATG and me spent almost the whole week together. The schools have their week of autumn holidays here, so ATG had a week off, and I decided to take some days off too. The original idea was to go away for a few days, but that plan didn't materialize: instead, we spent most of the week hunting for furniture for the patio that is being built at her house. We did do a daytrip to the Zoo in Harbour Town though. Below are two pictures (the second one alas isn't entirely sharp...):

(click images to enlarge)

I think I also passed a first critical test: being approved by ATG's best friend. We went to have diner with her best friend and husband last Friday. The friend was a nice woman of South African origin, the husband has my nationality and was a typical business man, but a nice fellow. We had (too much) of some very nice wines.

Next Friday the test will be reversed: ATG will then join me in an evening with my Friday evening friends.

Mushroom and a windmill (photo post)

I've been silent a bit on the blog lately. Several reasons for that: things between American Teacher Girl and me are going very well, I've been off on a short trip to York (England), and I've been ill.

The trip to York was very nice, it's a beautiful old medieval town. I met some colleagues there, and did a presentation on my research that was received well.

ATG and me have been forcibly not seeing each other for 1.5 weeks. This because the same day I returned from York, ATG went to give workshops in the US for a week. She will return this morning (and, as the Book says: "there will be much hugging and snugling"...)

Although I have been ill with some persistent cold virus or whatever (I coughed my lungs out last night again), I did take advantage of the good weather of yesterday to go on a photo shoot. It is mushroom season, and I shot this picture of a "lawyer's wig" (Coprinus comatus):

(click image to enlarge)

On my way I also shot this picture of a former saw mill, using a polarization filter and the Tamron 17-50/2.8 lens:

(click image to enlarge)

So far this short post.

ATG and C

A whole series of "dates" with American Teacher Girl, which really are no longer true "dates" but going to a direction beyond that, is commencing. Most of them at her place (as it is conveniently close to both our work places. My workplace is almost on her route to her home, so she picks me up after work).

Last Friday was the first time she was at my home (we had a date at My Town earlier, but didn't visit my home), where I made a dinner for her. She seemed to like my little place.

It was a very fine evening, with one slightly awkward moment though. At my place, she noted the framed photograph of C., which is on one of the bookshelves above my dinner table. She asked whether that was C. (I had told her the story of C. and me and how C. died earlier) and next asked: "now is she going to stare at me that way all through the dinner?" and made some further remarks the gist of which was that it made her feel uncomfortable. Next she went out for a smoke. I was and am not so willing to remove C.'s portrait. I solved by turning the frame so the photograph faced towards the wall temporarily.

I had one short e-mail contact with Married Woman a week ago. She asked me how the dates with American Teacher Girl are going. I said that things really seemed to go well. She didn't answer.

More Dates with American Teacher Girl....

Dates number 3 and 4 with ATG have been completed, and date 5 and 6 are in the making...it is evidently going very well... :-)

Last Thursday we met after work for a drink at a place easy to reach from her and mine work (for me, it was in walking distance). A bit of a "financial-men-in-Armani-suits" location (lots of bank and trading buildings, in fact the pub was in one of them), but so what. After some drinks, we decided to get a quick bite of Asian food nearby. Very nice.

Saturday we met again. This was the first time I got to see where she lives: a very nice home in one of the more quiet parts of the capitol. We went into the town center and had a good time with drinks, very good mediterranean food, and then went back to her house to watch a movie.

This same general scenario will be repeated coming Thursday and Saturday.

As things go well ahead now, I think the moment is close that I'll have to throttle down information about our dates a bit.... :-)

SPAM flood.....

When I fired up the laptop and my e-mail client this morning, I got a message: 4098 e-mails to download....

Gulp...!!! 8-s

Turned out there is a flood of SPAM / Failure to deliver messages arriving through one of my e-mail aliases, the one connected to an association I am active in. At the time of writing this, the count is nearing 6000.....

Unfortunately I cannot disable this e-mail alias myself: our association's webmaster has to do this. I've been sending out HELP!!! messages to that extend to all his known e-mail addresses and hope he picks up one of those soon....

The second date with American Teacher Girl

Last weekend was a very good weekend. I had my second date with American Teacher Girl, which was highly enjoyable. Plus, I have been honoured in a quite special way, of which I alas can say very little here on this blog, as it would identify me.

The date with American Teacher Girl was in My Town this time, and started at 14:45 when I collected her on the train station. We went to the Natural History Museum first, and spent some 3 hours there (until closing time). She had picked this museum herself for a visit.

From the museum we strolled back to the station, and (as she had a heel injury from sports and the strain of 3 hours strolling through a museum had become too much) took a bus for a short drive into town. There we settled on a riverside drinking terrace, chatting away relaxedly. This time, no fainting episodes.... It was very fine, sunny and warm weather with very little wind.

After about 1.5 hours on the terrace, we decided to go for dinner nearby. But first I showed her the 11th century Motte castle of My Town, and we climbed it's hill, walls and parapets for a view over the town. After a slight stroll through the medieval neighbourhood around it, we settled at a Thai restaurant. I had eaten there before and knew the food was good.

It is very uncanny how similar ATG and me are: like during our first date, we actually picked the same dishes from the menu....

The talk during dinner was a mix of serious topics, personal histories, and relaxed banter. She started to give me long direct looks (which I have learned to recognize as a sign a woman is into you). When we were eating our dessert, we started to feed each other little pieces of fruit and ice.

When the tab arrived, she insisted on sharing it (I had payed it in full during our first date). As we both only had large euro bills with us, we had the waitress change them into smaller bills. It was ATG who noted that they short-changed us by 10 euro in that act. Notifying the waitress, her reaction highly suggested she knew it, hence it was deliberate. The previous time I ate in this outfit, I had a similar incident: at that time, the tab contained items we never ordered. So I was getting the impression we were being conned. Which probably was the case, as my brother later told me he has heard several similar stories about this restaurant from other people.

The waitress who tried to con us in this way, shot her own foot with it: she would probably had gotten the 10 euro as a tip had she not tried to con us, but we now drastically lowered the tip.

It is a pitty, as the food in this restaurant is very good and not too expensive (well, we now know why....).

We left the restaurant at about half past ten, and because the evening was very gentle, we decided to go for yet more drinks on an outside drinking terrace. It was dark by now, and the bridge and buildings scenicly illuminated. Again, the banter was light-hearted and relaxed.

At half past eleven we called it quits, as she had to catch the 23:45 train home. We walked to the station, and had a few minutes left before the train arrived. She indicated she highly enjoyed this second date too, and was in for yet another date. I indicated the same. She made some jokes, told me she had turned down an invitation by a friend for this date, and teased me with "so you have to make something up to me". I said: "well, what did you have in mind?", upon which she answered, after a slight hesitation: "Well, I would be pleased if you don't chicken out on a goodnight-kiss....". So, taking this cue, I kissed her, and she kissed me, and I her again, it turned into a making out session, and then suddenly the train arrived already, to the regret of both of us....

Next dates will be at the end of this week: tomorrow, we'll go for a drink in the Capitol after work, and on Saturday we will go to some festivities in the Capitol together.